Race and Relationships Between Women & Girls

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Shundria, Nika and Shanterra

What a marvelous Monday! Yes, I know today is Tuesday and I should probably say something about the 4th of July but, I have to share about Monday instead 🙂

As you know, I have the honor of sitting in for the Mocha MoB show this summer on DFWiRadio.com.  My goal with this opportunity is to put marvelousness on blast by covering topics and current issues girls and women can relate to and this week’s episode did not disappoint.

I invited two friends of mine to join me on the show. Friends who I knew would be honest and not hold back their truth on their thoughts and ideas about the division in our society and what we can do truly model what it means to love your neighbor as yourself. If you want to see the conversation, here is the Facebook Live video. If you prefer to listen only, here’s the audio link.

Shundria Riddick is a friend I’ve known for years. She’s African-American. She is a licensed therapist, an author, a wife, a mom and great sisterfriend. Nika Spaulding is a newer friend that feels like a much longer friend. She’s White. She is a pastor, builds beautiful furniture with her bare hands, and is the best auntie ever. These two women joined me to talk about race and relationships between women and girls.

Let me be frank. As a Black woman living in America, the past few months have been emotionally exhausting. The same few months have been extra exhausting being an African-American Christian woman, serving as a youth director at a United Methodist Chuch, living in a conservative “red” state and feeling like the church as a whole has been quiet on a LOT of issues important to me and the youth I serve. Apathy, racism and a lack of empathy exist, even among folks who gather every Sunday. Exhausting!

I believe a strong contributor to my exhaustion was because I was having the same conversation with folks who look like me, instead of having more conversations with folks who don’t look like me. I needed to stop guessing about why white people… (fill in the blank). And instead, deliberately sit with friends who don’t look like me to try to make sense of some stuff.

I hope this can be the beginning of more conversations with not only my friends but, with other women. My thought is that if I am in a relationship with you, I become a human being. I become real and not someone based off of a Real Housewife show or some untouchable figure on a screen. The relationship gets us talking and listening to one another. We have to do this because girls and young women are watching us…and they need us to get this right.


After watching or listening to this episode, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to leave a comment here below or here. Also, if you have future show ideas on how we can continue putting marvelousness on blast please, let me know here.

As always, thank you for joining me on this journey. It is indeed marvelous!

Shanterra 🙂


Questions to Think About:

  1. Is diversity in relationships something you value?
  2. Do the majority of your friends look like you?
  3. How do you define “neighbor”?

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