Possible Thunderstorms

For the past couple of weeks, I have decided to walk for at least 30 minutes a day. At least Monday through Friday. I have been okay in keeping it up. Why just okay? Because I am quick to find excuses not to walk.

Why? I really don’t have a good reason…it’s just what I do.

Fast forward to today.

I had the perfect excuse. It was supposed to rain like crazy today and who walks in the rain? Not me and not most black women! Call it a hair thing.

fzub3vneXmvx6But, it wasn’t just the hair. It was you don’t walk in the rain fact! I mean, Dallas is known for high winds and trees falling and tornadoes…so I mean, there were GREAT reasons not to walk.

I sat on my cozy couch and mentally decided I would enjoy the day, take it easy and watch the rain.

The rain that gives me so much peace.

The rain that I love listening to.

The rain that calms me as I think about how it washes away all the pollen and is great for my allergies.

The rain that NEVER came!

That’s right. It never rained!

I kept looking out of my window waiting for the storm and it didn’t rain! And at the time of this post, it still hasn’t rained.

So, I decided to put on my walking gear and get to walking.Image result for wonder woman gif

While walking, as what usually happens when I walk, my brain had an aha-moment!

How often do we miss out on doing what we know we’re supposed to do because we’re afraid of “the storm”? (you should tweet that)

We’re anticipating a downpour so we don’t go out. We don’t step out.

And the storm can come in different ways.

The folks that say it won’t work? Storm.

The fear of failure? Storm.

The fear of pursuing your dream and being caught out there and not having all the answers? Storm.

But sometimes, the storm doesn’t come. And yet, an anticipation of the storm keeps us from doing what we need to do! The fear is really FALSE evidence APPEARING real because again, the storm doesn’t come!

And get this, if you step out there and pursue your dream, go after what keeps you up at night, write the book, try out for the role, quit the painful job — if you do whatever it is and it does start to rain…it’s okay.

No really, it’s okay because there’s usually calm after a storm. Have you ever realized that? The storm washes away the stuff that’s causing you to sneeze! It’s gets rid of the doubt. It washes away the stuff that doesn’t need to be there. After a good storm, you may even see a rainbow. Because you stepped out there.

And, in my case today, in the anticipation of rain, I wore a hat. So if it did start to rain I was covered.

Unfortunately, but keeping it honest, I have been known to forget I’m covered. I forget that going after my dreams is not just about my dream, it’s a calling. It’s about purpose. And when your calling is divinely given, you are always covered. There may be rain but, there won’t be a washout.

Please, for the love of YOU and all those you’re called to live for, stop waiting on doing what you need to do.

Don’t let the anticipation of a storm stop you from doing what you’ve been called to do. Get an umbrella and get to work!

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With Gratitude,
Shanterra 🙂

Questions to Ponder:

  1. What have you not done because you’re anticipating the storm?
  2. What if the storm doesn’t come?
  3. Do you have an “umbrella”? As in an accountability partner? Prayer partner? Purpose partner? Covering.
  4. If not, would you like for me to walk with you? The journey may not always be easy or free of rain but, following your calling is worth it!

 

How to Position Yourself for a Debt-Free Education

Hey yall! I am taking the time to post on a Friday, which isn’t the norm for me. But, when you have something great to share, you sometimes do things a little bit out of the ordinary. 🙂

I am so thrilled to announce that I partnered with my good friend, Adebisi Adebowale of Upliftology, to bring you the first-ever virtual summit on the college application process – The First Choice Summit: How to Position Yourself for a Debt-Free Education.

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Adebisi & Shanterra in Dallas 

 

I am speaking on the topic “You Are Marvelous: 5 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence.” This 2-day action-packed summit on March 18th and 19th features 11 other speakers, covering various other topics including how to earn cash for college and even writing excellent resumes.

This online conference is for college-bound students as early as 7th grade all the way up to graduate students, parents, and counselors. Trust me, you do not want to miss it! Register for free now at http://www.thefirstchoice.co.  TFCS - Shanterra's ad

How You Can Change Her Mind

Daughters are amazing. I say that because my mama has always told me so. Even when I was a know-it-all teenager, she still referred to me as her #1 daughter.

That could be because I’m her only daughter but hey, a fact is a fact.

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Even with that irreplaceable spot, it’s hilarious and strange to me how most of my teenage years are a blur to my mother. Blur meaning, she doesn’t recall key important moments. I think she has blocked out events where I was getting on her reserved nerve, or I was being such a teenager, that she blocked them out…perhaps for own her peace.

For example, she doesn’t remember taking me to my first concert (New Edition at Six Flags Over Texas).

Maybe it’s because I ran away from her when Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky, Mike, and Ralph came on stage. I had to! They were ON STAGE! Who cares that I was 12 and at Six Flags in a sea of other screaming girls with frantic adults! Attachment-1 (1)

She doesn’t recall telling me that one day she hopes to “like me again.” Why? Oh, I’ll share that detail at another time.

She doesn’t fully remember the details of snatching gently removing me off of the church piano while I was struggling through a song. Why? Because I had NO IDEA how to play the song (there were witnesses so it actually happened)!

Moms & preteen daughters.

Moms and teenage daughters.

Mentors and preteen girls.

Mentors and teen girls.

What a complicated, layered, beautiful, exhausting, fulfilling relationship.

She is your best work.

She is the one you worry about the most.

She has no idea and you’d like to keep it that way. 🙂

You’d also like to impart all the wisdom you have before she makes certain decisions. You’d like to give her room while also keeping her close. You’d like her to know you trust her, you just don’t trust those other folks…well, not all of them. Attachment-1

But, how do you get her listen to the wisdom? How do you give her room? And how in the world can you convince her that you trust her even when she’s with those other folks? How do you get her to be who you want her to be?

You attend Marvelous Moms & Mentors, the workshop for the adult women in her life. During this interactive workshop on April 22, we will engage in life-changing conversations about how you and other adult women have a huge role in how your marvelous girl views FRIENDSHIPS, BODY IMAGE, and SEX.

Mixed with humor, research and dare I say it,  FUN, we will get to the practical ways of how to get her to be who you want her to be.

Space is limited, though, so RESERVE your seat today here. We’ve changed the date so hopefully, you’re able to join us.

Oh and bring a friend. She’ll be glad you did! 🙂

Marvelous Moms & Mentors

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She is your best work.

She is the one you worry about the most.

She has no idea and you’d like to keep it that way. 🙂

Marvelous Moms & Mentors is the workshop for the adult women (finally) in her life. For 90 minutes, we will engage in life-changing conversations about how the adult women play a huge role in how your marvelous girl views FRIENDSHIPS, BODY IMAGE, and SEX.

Mixed with humor, research and dare I say it, fun, we will get to the practical ways of how to get her be who you want her to be.

Space is limited so reserve your seats today! Reserved seating can be purchased here.

Questions: email info@marvelousuniversity.com or call 469-317-7429. Also, don’t hesitate to share this event with that other person you’re thinking about who you also think should attend 😉

I look forward to seeing you March 18!

With Gratitude,
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Love Past Valentine’s Day

Have you noticed how February seems to be the only time your social media feed is focused on love?

Is it really the only time that love is expressed publically? I’m pretty sure my friends are in love at other times of the year or receive flowers and candy at other times of the year, but Valentine’s Day seems to be THE day that most folks seem to be focused on it. If that focus can be intense for adults, imagine what it can do for teenagers.

Even though Valentine’s Day has passed, this season brings on a lot of pressure for some teens to be in a romantic relationship, regardless of how healthy the relationship may be. I thought this would be a good time to repost a blog I wrote about dating, love, and teens.

Please read and share the LOVE IS… (click here). You’ll see tips on how to talk to the teen you love about relationships. You’ll also see signs of when a relationship may not be so healthy.

Yes, you should still read this blog even if you’ve decided your teen will not be able to date until she’s 30! Read it, just in case, she decides to date a little earlier than that.

Also, if you have any questions, or want to talk more, feel free to leave a comment. Or if you think it would be helpful for me to talk directly to your teen, don’t hesitate to introduce us so we can chat. I promise not to be the boring adult who knows everything and won’t listen. Their voice matters!

Dating and relationships can be tough to talk about. Unhealthy dating relationships and teenagers can be EXTRA tough to talk about. I approach the subject with love because well, that’s what it’s all about, right? Let’s chat.

With Gratitude (and Love),
Shanterra 🙂

One More Thing:
Have you purchased my book Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous?  The reviews have been really great and for the rest of the month, the publisher is running a really cool promotion! 🙂

Way Back In 2010

Happy New Year!

Can you believe it? It’s 2017. I’m still trying to take those numbers in because when I was younger, I just knew by 2017 we’d be flying around in spaceships and each home would have a Rosie (perhaps too much of the Jetsons, huh?) 🙂

Well, ready or not, 2017 is here! To be honest with you, I’m excited for this year, more excited than I thought I would be. 2016 was so, ya know, Twenty. Six. Teen. so I was just ready to get it over with, especially when I started thinking about all that happened during the year.

Perhaps you’re like me and you do some heavy reflecting as one year closes and another begins. And as you reflect, you may regret a little because of what you didn’t do. Whether it was the weight you were going to lose, or the trip you were going to take or the business you were going to start or the….

I do that every year. In past years, some of my answers to my reflection questions were no, but some of them were yes. Yes, I did complete or do the thing I planned. But, because of the way I’m marvelously made, I don’t know if I celebrate the yes’s enough. I don’t know about you but, sometimes the things I didn’t get done on my checklist can distract me from even recognizing the things I completed.

Transparent Coach Moment

As a recovering perfectionist (yes, it’s a thing), I focus a lot on what I didn’t do or what I could have done better. I’m an artist and I’m sensitive about a LOT of stuff so it takes me time to put myself out there. Which simply means, I will waste valuable time and energy mulling over every little thing I do, which wastes more time. Jeez!

But, this New Year’s Eve, I did something different. Instead of regretting, I spent the day reflecting on what made me smile throughout the year. Instead of bemoaning all that 2016 was, I spent the day thinking, writing and rejoicing about what brought me joy, not only in 2016 but, in my lifetime.

Part of my reflection on New Year’s Eve led me to an old journal. I was looking for something and ended up finding this. The journal entry that would become Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous.

Every New Year’s Eve since 2010, I thought about how I hadn’t completed this resolution, this goal, of being an author. For the past six years, this has been something I had been wanting to do. And now, it is done. I got to check it off.

Now, I won’t pretend it was easy because it wasn’t. But, seeing pictures of girls holding the book in their hands with huge smiles on their faces or girls engaged in reading the book as if they’re memorizing the words, make the hard work worth it.

I share this journal entry to simply say, don’t stop! No matter how long it takes, keep chasing after your vision. Keep going after the thing that wakes you up in the middle of the night. Keep going after that dream that is gnawing at your heart. Keep going.

And if there isn’t anything that is gnawing at you or you’re still trying to figure out your thing, may I offer a suggestion? Say out loud (as in a prayer), “What is my thing? What am I supposed to be doing? I’m ready to do it, but a little help please.

And then get ready because it may wake you up at 2:13 AM. Because as long as you’re still breathing, dreams are still stirring.

I wish you a marvelous year of seeing your dreams come true,

Shanterra
Image result for who said “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life

PS: Feel free to comment below. I love hearing from you and yes, I reply to every single comment.

  1. Do you know your ‘thing’? Your vision, purpose or calling.
  2. How are you working on it?
  3. Do you have someone who helps to remind you of your thing? Some call it an accountability partner. I call mine my purpose partners. Who are your partners?
  4. If you need a partner or a coach, let’s chat.

Comfort and Joy

Have you ever wanted to scream?

I mean just holler from the sole of your feet to the top of your scalp.

SCREAM!

And scream, not because something is wrong but, because something isn’t right.

You can’t explain it. You can’t define it. There is just something there that says, I need to SCREAM!

You’re not even sure what the scream will do.

Will it even help?

Will it take away the pain?

You don’t know. I don’t know.

I just know I need to scream.

But, where can I go? Where can I go to let out a holler that I need to let out?

Where can I go to scream where I will not scare anyone?

Where can I go to yell and not be disturbed?

I don’t want anyone to ask me any questions.

I don’t want to have to explain why I’m screaming.

I don’t want to have to justify my scream.

I just want to scream in peace. Yes, that’s a thing.

What If I Won’t Stop

Yesterday at church, a dear lady shared with me that one of her sweet friends passed away after 4 long years of battling cancer. She said she hasn’t cried yet because she’s afraid that she wouldn’t stop.

All I could do was nod my head and even fought back my own tears because I kind of knew what she was talking about.

But, for me, it’s not even just about crying anymore.

I. Want. To. Scream!

I don’t want to be polite. I don’t want to be cute. I don’t want to be gentle.

tumblr_msfbpollqw1sbhxjro1_250I want to YELL! I want to take this layer of painful skin off and throw it away.

We’re almost at the end of the of 2016 and I have no idea what 2017 will bring. We’re not even out of 2016 and there’s still so much I don’t know about so much.

And before we go there, I can’t over-spiritualized things right now.

Yes, I know God has a plan. I know God has kept me. I know God is sovereign. And right now, I still want to scream!

I want to scream for the pain of losing my Granny.

I want to scream for the pain of losing my Mema.

I want to scream for the unknown. I want to scream for the difficulty of it all.

I want to scream for the season of discomfort. I want to scream because it still isn’t easy.

Truth is, it may never be easy again. It certainly won’t be the same.

So until I can scream, I write. And as I write, I let the tears flow and belt out the moans that emerge from my gut.

I write and cry and moan.

Comfort and Joy

As I write, I feel the pain shift. It doesn’t go away but, it goes in a corner. As I cry, there is a peace that comes out of nowhere, as if it has been waiting for me to cry or at least admit that I need to scream.

Nothing has changed since I started writing this post 20 minutes ago. My Granny and Mema are still enjoying their heavenly robes. I’m still unsure of what 2017 will bring and yet, there is a peace.

How can that be?

Well, I can’t really explain it. I think it has something to do with tears being able to help with emotions and stress. And, I actually do feel better.

The truth is, I was going to stay curled up in my bed today because of wanting to scream. I thought that I couldn’t scream because of the reasons above and I really didn’t want to deal with the pain of why I wanted to scream in the first place, so I was going to stay in bed.

But, then I was afraid that I would stay in bed. I was afraid that I would not get out of bed because of sadness. Kind of like my friend not wanting to cry because she’s afraid she wouldn’t stop.

So I got up. I got up fast. But, I got up because I was also in search of a place to scream.

I guess I could have screamed in my pillow.

Next time. 🙂

Today, the tears have done the job and now I can do the rest of today.

We all know that the holiday season can be brutal, particularly when dealing with grief. We try to put on a good face especially if we have young people around us. We want to fa-la-la-la with them and have the hills all alive and what not, when on the inside, we want to run up those hills and just holler!

May I offer a quick something? If you want to scream, don’t fight it. If you want to cry, for goodness sake, please cry! For your sake, cry. Putting on a “face” for everyone or anyone, including yourself, will not do anybody any good. Cry. Scream. Jump up and down. Whatever you need to do, just do it!

Let the tears do their job so you can do yours.

My job today? Be gentle with my own self. Take one day at a time. Breathe. And continue to build, brick by brick.

May this season bring you peace, happy memories, tears, comfort, and joy.sound-of-muci

Love,
Shanterra

  1. Do you give yourself permission to scream?
  2. How are you being gentle with yourself?
  3. If you are grieving this season, know that you’re not alone. And what are some ways can you share this with your young person so they know that it’s ok for them to grieve too?

Thanksgiving & Jiggle

Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of your universe. Delight me to see how your Christ plays in ten thousand places…to the Father through the features of men’s faces. Each day enrapture me with your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all.
Joshua Abraham Heschel

This season always brings about a lot of reflection. The words to this prayer sum up my request and lived experience, especially when I think about the past few months. This past Saturday gave me another marvelous thing to think about in wonder.

Saturday, November 19, Crystal Spirit Publishing, Inc. hosted a reveal and book signing for my debut book, Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous, an inspirational book for girls ages 11-17. You’re probably thinking, how can a book for an 11-year-old apply to a girl who is 17 years-old, right?

It’s simple. The book is a guide to girls that focuses on friendships, body image, relationships, and decisions that take risks. Topics that every girl goes through, regardless of age and messages every girl needs to hear.

And I’m not just saying that because I wrote it. My dear friend, NY Times best-selling author, Rosalind Wiseman, read the book and wrote the forward for Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous. To parents, she says:

You both need a guide. Someone who can get her to focus on what’s really important to her, find her passions, and help her think through the very important questions. You have found that guide.

This book has been a dream for a long time. Even though the book signing wasn’t a surprise, my publisher, cousinsister (my cousin who is more like a sister) and my BFF/LS, kept most of the details under wraps. So much so, that when I walked in the room, I was truly overwhelmed with JOY! dsc_0129

Let me be honest, the past few months have not been easy. There has been loss, pain, and a lot of uncertainty. However, there has also been a lot of laughter, new adventures, and evidence that dreams can come true. All of this makes up my thanksgiving.

In my experience, thanksgiving is not a date on the calendar. Thanksgiving is the feeling, the wisdom or the place we occupy, as long as we look for the opportunities to give thanks. And we take advantage of those opportunities.

“Each day enrapture me with your marvelous things without number. I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all.”

What a strong and powerful request. The great truth about the request is that if  we look for the marvelous things, we know, without any doubt, that the request has been granted. Over and over again.

 

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Me with my brother, sister-in-love, & parents

 

Action: Take time to reflect on what you consider the marvelous things.

Action: View more pictures from the book signing and reception here

Action: If you’d like to purchase Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous, you can purchase it here. I’d love to hear your thoughts, especially from your marvelous girl!

With Gratitude,
Shanterra  🙂

Marvelous Girls’ Summit Recap: Part I

“If I could change one thing about this summit, it would be to make it longer!” –
13-year-old MGS attendee

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Marvelous Girls’ Summit 2016

When I first started writing this blog post to recap the Marvelous Girls’ Summit, I thought I would do a simple post to tell you about the day, show a few pictures and give a few testimonials throughout the post. And then 1,407 words later, I realized I should split the post up so that you could do other things in your day. Here is Part I of the Marvelous Girls’ Summit recap.
Enjoy! 🙂
Shanterra
_______________________________________________
What could I possibly say to describe one of the best days ever?

Would marvelous be too predictable?

Oh well! I have to say it anyway.

It. Was. MARVELOUS!

The Marvelous Girls’ Summit, a day designed for girls to be more than what’s expected, more than what’s required and more than what’s modeled was all of THAT! Held October 15, 2016, at SMU, was unforgettable and totally, wonderfully marvelous! We were graced with 50 girls from the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, including seven girls who drove all the way from Houston!

“I liked that we got to talk about being brave and loving our jiggle,” 11-year-old MGS attendee

There are so many thank you’s and I truly hope I don’t forget anyone! First, our gracious host and partner, SMU. This is my alma mater and to partner with them in this way was a dream come true. A huge thank you must first go to Jennifer “JJ” Jones. There is so much I could share and I still feel like I would leave something out.

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Me saying something amazing about JJ

JJ is the Executive Director for Student Life at SMU. She is also one of my mentors, who I’m thankful to have met my first year at SMU way back in…oh never mind. JJ  is special because she believed in the vision for the summit from the very beginning when I wasn’t sure what the full vision was!

JJ also had the brilliant suggestion of having two student groups partner with this event, Sisters Supporting Sisters and the PanHellenic Council. The girls LOVED these intelligent, fun, and gifted young women who served as group leaders. They were truly a blessing!

“The group leaders were really cool and treated us like their friends,”
13-year-old MGS attendee.

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Sisters Supporting Sisters & PanHellenic Council, SMU

Another great reason the day was so marvelous is because of our wonderful sponsors! In addition to Sisters Supporting Sisters and the PanHellenic Council, we are so thankful for Leticia McGowan and Capital Reserva who served as Bronze Sponsors. The Dallas Women’s Foundation sponsored our beautiful t-shirts and drawstring gift bags, done with care and a lot of patience by Ricochet Promotionsimg_8801

One very generous sponsor the girls spent a lot of time with was The LAB Photo Booth. What preteen or teenage girl do you know who does not like to take pictures? And even if she doesn’t, add a boa and a pair of fancy shades and I can almost guarantee, camera shyness leaves the room.

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A collage of a few photos from the Lab Photo Booth

The girls could take as many pictures as they wanted in the “booth” and I think it’s safe to say, they took us up on our offer at every single break. I can’t help but smile as I scroll through the pictures. So much fun! And it was also a great gift for the girls to take home.

Other contributing sponsors included: The Cali Cousins,  six successful individuals – led to Cali by their careers – formed a community of unconditional love, support, and faith. Although now separated by distance, destiny sustains their bond;  Ignite Texas, a non-partisan 501c3 that builds political ambition in young women; Park Place Volvo, Vanessa O’Neal and Wayne and Jennifer Armstead.

The day would have also been impossible without the HUGE support from marvelous volunteers! There isn’t a perfect way to thank them for how my heart overflows with gratitude. My family volunteered, dear friends volunteered, even traveling from Atlanta and Houston to help bring this vision to life. One dear sorority sister/Cali Cousin even surprised me by traveling from Chicago! My childhood friend volunteered. My lifetime friend volunteered. Friends I met for the first time that day volunteered. And my BFFLS served as my planning and execution partner. I am extremely grateful!

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The Marvelous Team

There is so much to share and over the next few days, I’ll try to get it all in. For now, I’ll leave you with this: having a vision is great. But, it means nothing without having people in your life who believe in you, support you, pray for you and encourage you to keep going. I am grateful for these folks because this is just the beginning 🙂

Love,

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My Marvelous Mom

Shanterra


Want more? Follow me on InstaGram at marvelous_shanterra, Twitter @shanterramcb and  Facebook.

Book Signing & Reception

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Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous by Shanterra McBride

You are cordially invited to join

Author

Shanterra McBride

in the debut and celebration of her first book

Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous

Saturday, November 19th

11 AM

Holiday Inn Express & Suites
9089 Vantage Point Dr.
Dallas, TX 75243

RSVP

Love Your Jiggle: The Girl’s Guide To Being Marvelous is an inspirational book for girls ages 11-17. Topics covered include self-esteem, maintaining friendships, decision-making, conflict management, diversity & self-empowerment. The messages are positive relating to growing up and being the best and most marvelous girl they can be.

*Note: Books will be available for sale and signing. Books can also be purchased here.